“You think too much.”

That’s what my momma told me back when I was about 13 years old. I’ll never forget it because at the time I thought it was a strange and absurd statement. What can possibly be wrong with thinking things through, planning ahead, working it out…? I mean I was an honor student, loved to read, fast learner, just an intellectual person. So needless to say I thought my momma was crazy and maybe even a bit jealous of my mental skillz. Well, as they say…momma is always right! What I thought was a blessing, nearly 20 plus years later, feels more like a curse.  I will analyze something as small as what kind of vacuum to buy seven different ways to Sunday. Over-thinking is one of the main reasons I hate sitting in traffic…. I have way too much time alone with my thoughts. My mind looks like fireworks on the 4^th of July….freaking chaotic!  Problems, people, reminders….continually popping off in my fragile mind.

And you may ask, what does thinking a lot have to do with health? Mental wellness plays a huge part of your overall health. There is nothing wrong with being thorough, planning ahead, and being conscious of you and your family’s needs.  Especially for woman, we just naturally are more emotional, nurturers, and more likely to over-think.  Plus we are more likely to define ourselves based on our relationships with others (e.g. I’m a mother, daughter, wife, banker, etc.) which gives us that much more to worry about with our many roles.  But like everything else it’s a balancing act. Over-thinking, anxiety, stress, and worry can cause lack of sleep, binge eating, over indulgence in alcohol, hair loss, depression, etc. How do you know if you suffer from over-thinking, anxiety and worry.  Have you ever done any of the following?

•  Couldn’t fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night because you just got a $1500 medical bill in the mail?
• Went on a first date and as he ordered the appetizer, you said to yourself this guy would make a good husband, provider, father for your current or future children?
• Bought 50 rolls of toilet paper because they were on sale? Or 3 sets of your favorite lip gloss because you just know they will discontinue it?
• Packed a large suitcase filled with 5 outfits for an overnight trip?
• Stalked someone whether on the internet or drove by their house?
• Went to a party and sat against the wall the whole time because everyone was lame, except for you of course?
• Put off completing a job, doing an assignment, writing a paper because it seemed too complicated?
• Took 30 min to decide between Colgate extra whiting with baking soda and Crest extra whiting with fluoride?
• Got 8 second opinions before you decided to get that mole removed from your arm?
• Instantly think something is wrong with you when someone is staring at you. 
• You’re still playing this statement from your co-worker in your mind, “girl, your hair color is interesting and suits you.”  …she made the statement over a year ago.
• You told your man you love him, and he responded with “ditto.” You call all your girlfriends to help you decipher or not if he’s cheating on you.

If any of the above or similar actions pertain to you then, you may suffer from over-thinking. And seriously, this type of mental traffic can cause physical and physiological issues if you don’t get it under control. Over-thinking typically consists of negative thoughts which just bring more negativity in your world. A few tips to break free from those negative thoughts:

•          Exercise. Ever heard the saying “a tired dog is a happy dog.” The same goes for humans. When you get moving during the day and burn some of that extra energy, you are literally too tired to focus on the petty stuff. Exercise distracts you from your problems and gets you high on those happy endorphins.
•          Schedule a time to over-think. Give yourself an hour a day to just go hog-wild with your thoughts then cut it off.
•          Start a journal. Write your thoughts down and close the book. Transferring your thoughts to paper can be very cleansing for your mind and you don’t feel like you’re ignoring or forgetting about your feelings, ideas, or thoughts. Writing down your commitments and thoughts is paying honor to those things.
•          Let go, let God. Pray on it. Enough said. And for the spiritual folks…meditate on it!
•          Stop comparing yourself. You are not the Jones and the Jones probably have a dead body in the basement. Try not to judge yourself based on others it only causes unnecessary upset. You are your own measuring tape. You set your own standards.
•          Stop throwing pity parties. Rather than waiting for someone to rescue you or change your situation.  You have to help yourself. …you’d be surprised how many people will jump on your boat once you decide to do you!
•          Lower your expectations. Not everybody is going to measure up to your standards. You will have no friends or lover(s) if you don’t realize that not everyone shares your values. Accept people for who they are and move on. And please believe your folks probably have issues with you too, but love you just the same.
•          Just do it. If you have a problem, take action. A small step is better than no step.
•          Put positive affirmations everywhere. Negative thoughts can bring you down emotionally and physically and we don’t even notice because it’s part of our daily subconscious routine (it's deep). Stop it now. Take a dry erase marker and write “you are beautiful” on your bathroom mirror, change your computer password to “IAmAwesome#1,”put a post it on your refrigerator door “How did I get so freaking fine and fabulous!” Pinch yourself, every time you say something negative about yourself. 
•        Forgive and move on. Somebody did you wrong. Don’t be like NeNe on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Forgive people for their mistakes and go on your merry way. Nene needs to forgive Greg…it’s messed up her whole life, for real.
•        Listen to your thoughts. Is that your voice or other people telling you how to live your life? Recognize your voice. It’s the only one that matters in the end. 

Take good care of yourself.